Failure Is Not an Option

Growing up, my family frequently traveled to Coronado, California, a small island off San Diego. Coronado is a both a tourist and military town; it's home to a Navy base and serves as one of the Navy SEAL's training facilities. During a trip before my freshman year of high school, I purchased a Navy SEALs shirt that read, “Failure is not an option.” I adopted this motto and developed a perfectionist mentality. As a result, for several years, I feared failure. I avoided taking difficult classes, I refused to ask out certain girls, and overall, did not challenge myself for fear that I wouldn't succeed.

 

During a lecture my senior year of college, my professor advised that failure is okay because it provides an opportunity to learn: “Let your failures refine you, not define you.” I suddenly realized that I had been misinterpreting this slogan to mean that I should avoid failure at all costs. Rather, it meant that I shouldn’t give up when something doesn’t go according to plan.

 

This message has stuck with me for a long time, most recently in the aftermath of Kobe's death when I rewatched Kobe Bryant's Muse, a documentary that Kobe helped produce during the comeback from his Achilles injury. In an interview towards the end of the documentary, Kobe explains, "My brain, it cannot process failure. It will not process failure. Because if I have to sit there and face myself and tell myself, ‘You’re a failure,’ I think that is worse, that is almost worse than death.”

Kobe exemplified this mentality several times during his career, but there's one particular instance that I recalled today. During his rookie season (1996-1997), the Lakers faced off against the heavily favored Utah Jazz in the second round of the NBA Playoffs. Utah hosted Game 5 at the Delta Center in Salt Lake City, and with 5 seconds remaining in regulation, 18 year old Kobe Bryant found himself with the ball in his hands. The game was tied 89-89. Kobe drove to the right elbow, pump faked his shot, and threw up a fadeaway jumper as the clock struck zero...Air ball. In overtime, Kobe air balled another 3 shots. Pure misery. The Lakers ended up losing the game and the series that evening.

Fortunately, 19 years after his infamous rookie moment, his career turned out just fine. 5X NBA Champion, 2X Finals MVP, 1X NBA MVP, 18X All-Star, 2X Gold Medal Winner. Failure was not an option for Kobe Bryant.

 

This afternoon, Dallas Mavericks second year sensation Luka Dončić found himself in a very similar situation. Over the course of Game 4 of their Playoff series against the heavily favored LA Clippers, Luka air balled multiple step-back three point shots. As the Mavericks rallied from 21 points down, Luka refused let the air balls get to his head. With 3.7 seconds remaining, the Mavericks trailed 132-134. As Dorian Finney Smith inbounded the ball, I begged, "Please, Luka, do not take a step back three pointer." Admittedly, I feared failure for Luka. Luckily, Luka couldn't hear me through the TV. With 1.5 seconds on the clock, Luka stepped back and hoisted up a deep three pointer...Bang. Luka drilled it as time expired and the buzzer sounded. Mavs win 135-134. For Luka, failure was not an option.

 

I'm not one for coincidence, but did I mention that today would have been Kobe's forty second birthday? Happy 42, Mamba. The MFFLs thank you for #LukaMagic.

And with that, I'll leave y'all with this jam...

Good Afternoon, Good Evening, and Goodnight

2/19/2020

It has been 24 days since Kobe Bryant's death.

To those who called, texted, and commented on my social media posts, thank you. Thank you for reminding me about the significant impact Kobe had on my life. Truthfully, I knew I was a Kobe fan, but you all helped me remember how BIG of a Kobe fan I was. It's funny because although I never met Kobe and although I had zero impact on his life, for a long time, there was no Brady Kahn without Kobe Bryant.

In the aftermath of Kobe's death, I listened, watched, and read just about every Kobe story that was out there. Collin Cowherd, who has been my favorite sports personality for several years, tasked his audience to "think of this" when reflecting on Kobe's legacy. I want you to do the same:

"When Kobe Bryant retired, he had been an NBA player longer, 20 years, than he had not been an NBA player in his life, 17 years. So Kobe, of course, grew up right in front of our eyes...Nobody asks most 18 year olds and 19 year olds to grow up with a camera" in front of their faces.

I don't know what most of you were doing at 17 years old, but when I was 17 years old, I was still "wrapping" peoples' houses with toilet paper, prank calling friends, and staying up late playing video games like Grand Theft Auto. Frankly, I'm still partaking in most of these activities at 25 years old. For Kobe, at 17 years old, he had just been drafted to play in the NBA for one of the most valuable sports franchises in the world in one of the most popular cities in the world. For this reason, just like Truman Burbank in The Truman Show, Kobe was a star from Day 1.

The Truman Show, starring Jim Carey, is a movie that came out in 1998. If you haven't seen it, I definitely encourage you to do so, because the rest of this blog post spoils the end *SPOILER ALERT*

The Truman Show is a movie about a young man, Truman Burbank, who is literally forced to grow up in front of peoples' eyes. His life is a scripted TV show. His town is a movie set. His friends are hired actors. His parents are hired actors. His wife is a hired actor. His world won't allow him to fail. Truman's entire life is a complete fabrication, but he has no idea.

From Day 1, Truman was a star. Whether it was someone bathing in their bathtub, eating breakfast at their neighborhood diner, or curled up on their couch before bed, anyone could sit back, relax, and enjoy The Truman Show. Just like Kobe, Truman was constant entertainment.

At the end of the movie, Truman pieces together the puzzle and begins to realize that his life really is just a TV show. Christof, the show's creator and executive producer, finally speaks directly to Truman:

"I am the creator of a television show that gives hope and joy and inspiration to millions...I have been watching you your whole life. I was watching when you were born. I was watching when you took your first step. I watched you on your first day of school."

In response, a confused Truman asks, "Was nothing real?" Christoff explains, "You were real, that's what made you so good to watch."

Collin Cowherd helped me realize that the same was true for Kobe. He was a Hollywood star from Day 1. Whether it was someone watching a game from their living room couch, sitting in nose bleeds at Staples Center, or listening to the radio in the car, people relished Kobe's every move. Like Truman, Kobe was real. But his life was unscripted.

My very last memory of Kobe as a player came during his final NBA game. On any given night, you can find movie stars, athletes, singers, rappers, and just about any famous person attending a Lakers game. What you never see, however, are these stars exhibiting normal human behavior. Typically, you'll see them wearing sunglasses, being shown on the Jumbotron, or taking pictures with fans. The stars never seem to break character.

On April 13, 2016, the night of Kobe's final game, Hollywood's finest — Snoop Dogg, Jack Nicholson, Jay-Z, George Lopez, David Beckham, Shaq, Kanye, G-Eazy, Kendrick Lamar — were all in attendance. For the first time ever, I saw these stars simply enjoying the show. On the night Kobe scored 60 points in his historic finale, he also turned the extraordinary into the ordinary. That's what made him so special.

These are real images from Kobe's last game. For one night, the stars became regular fans, just like the rest of us.

Snoop Dogg

Jack Nicholson (OG Kobe fan)

Jay Z

(G-Eazy)

(Kanye, smiling)

Kobe wasn't an actor, singer, or comedian. Kobe was just himself. A natural entertainer. He was Hollywood's true, unscripted star. And us? We were his audience. For 20 years, we got to enjoy the Kobe Show.

Goodbye, Kobe Bryant

May 2016

Many people asked me if I would cry. I said no. I knew you were at peace with your decision, and for that, I was at peace with you leaving the game forever.

For me, the end came on the evening of April 12, 2013. I was visiting Indiana University in Bloomington. You were single handily willing the Lakers to the playoffs, as you had been doing all season, even with the help of Steve Nash, Dwight Howard, and Pau Gasol. But the minutes had finally taken a toll on you. As much as I wanted to believe in your invincibility, I knew the end was near when you fell to the floor and tore your Achilles. I was fortunate enough to have seen you just one month before when I took Jana to the Lakers-Mavericks game in Dallas. Growing up, I always had two dates circled on my calendar every year – both times the Lakers came to town. You put on an absolute show that afternoon, and pulled out every move from your repertoire; Vintage Kobe to say the least. Jana finally understood why I admired you so much.

For the last several years, I’ve been telling people that no matter where your final game would be, I was going to come and watch. Well, I didn’t exactly anticipate that ticket prices would be through the roof, so that idea sort of went down the drain. But when my dad proposed we go see you one final time in Houston, I immediately accepted the invitation. My dad and I showed up to Toyota Center seventy-five minutes before tip off, and, to no one’s surprise, there was significantly more purple and gold in the stadium than there was red. You dropped 35 that game, and thankfully put on another classic Kobe performance, receiving countless "oohs and ahhs" from the crowed. It was an honor to be apart of your farewell tour.

I thought I had seen it all, and then 4.13.2016 happened. Your final game is a microcosm of your entire career. Tons of shots. Lots of misses. Lots of makes. Countless jaw drops. A silencer. Simply amazing. Literally giving it all you had. All the greats admiring you. Kanye West, David Beckham, Shaquille O'Neal, Jack Nicholson, Jay Z, Snoop Dogg. Literally the greatest of their trades in awe of your spectacularness. You were the true, unscripted Hollywood star. You wanted to win so badly that night - that’s what I found so amazing. The friends I watched with all wondered when you would be taken out and how long your standing ovation would last. You didn’t want that, though. You wanted a win, and you did everything you could to do so. Your daughters finally got to see the real Black Mamba.

First Memories

Hello, my name is Kobe Bryant. I was born in Philadelphia in 1978. I am most well known for playing basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers. Three interesting facts about my life are:

1. I was so good at basketball I got to skip college and go straight to the NBA.
2. My second language is Italian.
3. I broke the NBA record for 3-pointers in a game in 2003.

This is my first real memory of Kobe Bryant. This is the speech I muttered several dozen times during our Second Grade Wax Museum at Greenhill School. I had become interested in sports, and specifically the Lakers and basketball, the summer leading into second grade. The early 2000s were an ideal time to be a Lakers fan, as they were in the midst of their back-to-back-to-back championship run. Many people thought I merely "hopped on the bandwagon," but I was born in Los Angeles, and my dad was a Lakers fan, so I always shrugged off that notion. During these young years, I spent countless evenings impersonating Kobe moves in my parents' driveway. From blowing on my hands, to shooting my free throws with angled feet, to attempting triple pump fake fadeways, I did everything in my power to replicate your flawlessness on the basketball court. From the age of 7-12, I legitimately thought I was going to play in the NBA, and even my parents were convinced of the same…But then we left the JCC gym.

It was around this time that I started going to Mavericks games. I can tell you that being a Lakers/Kobe fan in Dallas was no easy task. All of my friends were Mavs Fans for Life (MFFLs), and I certainly received my fair share of dirty looks when I rolled into American Airlines Center with my bright yellow Kobe jerseys. The worst part about going to Lakers-Mavs games when I was young is that the the games wouldn’t start until 8:30pm, meaning my parents would oftentimes make me leave the game early. I most regret leaving the game where Kobe dropped 43 including this insane fadeaway.

I had the pleasure of watching Kobe's spectaculureness for almost his entire career. In fact, my ideal Friday night in Lower and Middle school consisted of me playing in my basketball games, going to dinner with friends, then plopping myself in front of the TV to watch late night Lakers games. I remember Kobe outscoring the Mavericks 62-61 after three quarters then benching himself in the 4th quarter. I remember the 81-point game. I unfortunately cannot admit to watching that full game live. It was a Sunday night, and I had school the next day. The Lakers were down 16 at halftime, and who would have thought Kobe was going to score 55 points in the second half… But I woke up the next morning with the biggest grin on my face. I couldn’t wait to wear my Kobe shirt to school. Then of course there was his incredible Game 4 of the 2006 Playoffs, where he hit not one, but two buzzer beaters, including this game winning fadeaway.

The Not So Glory Days

Then there were the down years. Like the 2004-2005 season after Shaq was traded. This is when the Lakers were starting Chucky Atkins. I vividly remember watching a road game against the Charlotte Bobcats. My dad was in Vegas that weekend. He, of course, knows nothing about sports and asked me about some picks he should make that night. I didn’t understand the concept of a spread at the time, so I said that the Lakers were going to “destroy” the Bobcats that night – the Bobcats might have been the only team worse than the Lakers that year. The Lakers ended up winning the game by 1 after Kobe poured in 21 fourth quarter points including this game winning jump shot. An elated Brady called my dad to share the excitement. Unfortunately, the Lakers did not cover the spread, and my dad wasn’t too happy. It's safe to say this is the reason I don’t bet.

One of the worst weekends of my life came in May of 2011. Yes, I’m talking about the Mavericks championship year – congratulations. The Lakers were coming off back-to-back titles, and Kobe was on the quest for his second three peat while playing the Mavericks in the second round. I was  thrilled. Not only because I was going to get to see my first Lakers playoff game, but mainly because I thought the Lakers were going to destroy the wimpy Dallas Mavericks, who couldn’t win a clutch playoff series, especially against Kobe… Well, I was wrong. The Lakers lost their first two games at home and the first game in Dallas to go down 0-3 in the series. "I might be sick in the head or crazy, but I still think we're going to win the series,” Kobe said in his interview before Game 4. I might have been sick in the head, too, because I was sure the Lakers were going to win the series in 7. Well, I was wrong again. The Lakers were swept right out of the playoffs by the Dallas Mavericks. Great, now I get to hear about this for the rest of my life. But 17>1 if my math is correct, so… Also, for the first time in my life I was embarrassed to be a Lakers fan after Andrew Bynum almost killed JJ Barea.

Meeting Kobe

I wish. I’ve unfortunately never met Kobe, but I’ve had some close encounters. The first was at Camp Lakers at UCSB in Santa Barbara. One of the most memorable days of my life. I was around 12 years old and Kobe was literally within inches of me.

Another occurred during my freshman year at the University of Miami. It was a Wednesday in January. Miami Basketball was playing against Duke, and although the game wasn’t going to be too exciting (Duke slaughtered Miami) rumor was that Kobe and LeBron were going to be in attendance since the Lakers were in town to play the Heat. I was in my dorm room after class on Wednesday when I heard people saying that LeBron was on campus and sitting in on a class in the business school. Although I wasn’t a big LeBron fan, I figured I could go get a picture with him or something. I headed for the business school. On the walk over, I got word that LeBron wasn’t the one sitting in on the class; it was Kobe. I immediately began sprinting. This was my opportunity to finally meet Kobe! As soon as I arrived at the business school, I saw a huge swarm of people walking. I followed them expecting to see Kobe, but I had just missed him. He was getting in his car and leaving. I didn’t attend the game that evening due to a rush event, but Kobe and LeBron were both at the Miami-Duke game. Even though we were in Miami, a Kobe chant broke out. Can’t say I was surprised.

The coolest thing for Kobe is the MVP chants he gets on the road. I used to search for it on YouTube all of the time. This is now my favorite video on YouTube. Stu Lantz says, “This crowd is absolutely going crazy.” If your eyes were closed, you’d legitimately think this game was in Los Angeles.

January 2020

TBC...